Blog Feed

Should I be with him/her?

Should I marry him/her? Should I stay with him/her?

They (numerous couples) remind me of an addiction more than a romance. The need each other. They need each other’s presence, they need each other’s affection, they need each other’s attention, they need each other to feel satisfied. They can-not simply be, because they are always in need. Just like any other addiction whether it be to drugs, drinking, television, eating, etc… it’s just not the way life should be lived. Little by little – it destroys you.

Two people should not be together because of an addiction. And it’s difficult to call it an addiction when you are blinded from what real love should be like. Love should be free. Free to be alone, free to be obsessive, free to be happy, free to be angry, free to be with friends, free to be together, free to give, free to receive, and it should be something that is wanted… not needed.

I always say – and strongly believe, that love is also a choice. But choosing to love an addiction will destroy your heart, mind, soul, body, and circumstances. That is when your eyes should be open to realizing that what you have is not love. Love is when your heart, mind, soul, body, and circumstances are healthy and free because of the love you feed each other, and then during the difficult times is when you choose to love — such as being patient when one is being stubborn, being kind when another is being mean, being the strong one when the other is in a weak state of mind, being brave when the other is fearful, and so on.

When you’re truly in love… you should be a team. What are you doing looking out for yourself and hurting each other? Why are you feeding your own needs and disregarding the pain you’ll cause the person that loves you? If you’re in a relationship where you have to look out for yourself… then maybe you’ve got the wrong teammate. And that’s OKAY… Because the right teammate is out there for you. One that will have your back while you have theirs. And therefore, you shouldn’t be wasting time in a relationship that is destroying your heart, mind, body, soul, and circumstances… you should be focused on building yourself up and preparing for the arrival of your actual teammate in life.

Pray about it, connect with God, and allow Him to help you grow. No-one wants more for you than your creator. No Love is more unconditional than God’s. He WILL guide you in the right direction. Choose freedom.

#Pray #Connect #Grow #TheOpenLetter #Love #Faith #Trust #Soul #Passion #Happiness #Life #Relationships

I’ll tell you to run through the fire.

I’m a behavioral therapist. I work with kids that have “disabilities” such as autism. All sarcasm aside, these kids and families actually have superpowers. They run THROUGH fire.
As a behavioral therapist I help these children accomplish goals such as understanding what it means when I say “stand up”, to not be afraid of a book that plays music, or helping them focus on something when they have trouble looking at anything for longer than 3 seconds. Some of my amazing kids engage in behaviors such as running away, hitting themselves or others, or eating things they shouldn’t be eating. And believe it or not, these are the best people I’ve ever met in my life. These kids and these families have taught ME to run through the fire!
Typically, when a kid begins to tantrum, most people can-not stand the crying and yelling so they begin to bribe… naturally. “Want candy?” “Want a movie?” “Want this toy?” in which the tantrum ends and all honesty, the child wins. Who as a grown up gets to tantrum and receive what they want in life? I know for sure that I don’t. So, why teach it?
These families have to run through fire every-single-day until the problems are resolved. If a child has a problem behavior such as running away because he/she wants to play chase, is scared of something, is super excited, or is angry at something, and the parent instead chooses to lock them up each time they run away… it will only teach the child that they get punished for trying to communicate with us.
Yes, safety comes first. But, as RBT’s and families of these children, we have to think of the long-term effect. We stop what we are doing and figure out why this child chose to run away, and then teach them to communicate. Sounds easy right? (Keep in mind that teaching these kids is a repetitive and consistent thing until they full understand something that is a “simple instruction” to the Nero-typical) Imagine this kid running away while you’re trying to complete a term paper, or this child engaging in a loud and long tantrum because you didn’t allow them to run into the street meanwhile you are trying to figure out why he/she ran away this time, or all this happening while you’re at the parking lot of a grocery store. THIS is when you see these kids and families running through fire each and every time until the problem is resolved and they are both living safer lives. You won’t catch my families bribing these kids and walking around the fire… you’ll catch them observing the child and teaching them to communicate one way or another (some of these kids are non-verbal or echoic causing them to have harder times to communicate.) These families are thinking long-term solutions all the while being judged, stressing, worrying, and wondering if things will ever be okay. (Which things are okay because you all live a beautiful and powerful life AND things will keep getting better)
As grown-ups we learned that tantrums do not get us what we want. So, we’ve learned to run around the fire in other ways. I for one am guilty of the TV binge watching form of running away along with the kneeling by the bed and praying day after day. Don’t get me wrong, prayer is POWERFUL, (that’s how I went from binge watching television to having courage, wisdom, and all else needed to face my life’s problems.) But we have to learn to walk through the fire all the while knowing God will not allow us to get burned.
I’ll be honest, if you binge watch T.V, only pray but never make moves, smoke, drink, seek attention from boys/girls, or get lost in any other way continually (because I still binge watch television for mental breaks a night or two out of the month) then a few years down the road, you’re life will be exactly the same. Life is about walking THROUGH the valley of shadow and death like a CHAMP.
Observe yourself. What are you continually avoiding? Why are you always trying to escape real life? Look at your social media. What is it that you’re continually trying to show the world that your life is like? Find ways to make that real life. One step at a time. This way, you KNOW your life will progress in a positive way. One year from now your life will either be different… or the same. It all depends on whether you run through the fires.

God, I desperately pray that you water down the fires that my friends and families are going through so that they can begin the process of living the lives you’ve created for them. Give them the strength, the courage, and the wisdom to face the trials and even more of it after the trials are won. Help them to move forward without needing to escape or runaway. I want each and every one of them to be happier and live a life they are proud of. I can only imagine how much more you want it for them.
Thank you for this message, my friend!

Psalm 23:4
John 16:33
Psalm 119:105
James 1:5
Proverbs 3:5

#Autism #Courage #Wisdom #Strength #Happiness #Love #Prayer #Life #AutismAwareness #Passion #Scripture #Faith

Tired of being patient!

“I’m tired of being patient.” I told my co-worker regarding my future. Cara’s response, “The thing is, Marysol, God is guiding you step by step into the future He sees for you. You only see the ‘now,’ He sees the whole picture.”
The following day I was texting my sister, Maria, about how excited I was about the future even though I wish it were now. She said “I can imagine God looking down at us excited because He knows what’s going to happen. The same way we look at our kids during Christmas because we know what they have coming.”
I then paused to thank God for sending this message to me two days in a row. I stopped to think about it because I knew God wanted me to understand something deeper. I was then reminded about my “close call” that happened this past Wednesday. I was at a red light on colonial waiting to make a left turn. I had my notecards and pencil, looking down, writing, and just enjoying my wait at the red light. When I looked up in the rearview mirror, a car going about 70-80mph was right behind me. It swerved into the grass just one second before hitting me. I watched this car dodge traffic as it tilted left and right. I’m guessing I held my breath for a good 10 seconds. I could have been dead and I wasn’t sure if this car and the people in it were going to make it.
If I’d been looking up and seen a car coming at me… I would have moved over to the left in the grass since cars were flying by at my right. And in my attempts to dodge the speeding car, it would have either hit the truck in front of me that was also at the light or it would have still swerved into the grass and hit me.
The point is God’s got me and God’s got you. He IS taking care of you and maneuvering things around on your behalf as you focus on His purpose for you (which is your passion). There is absolutely no need to live in fear, needing to be in constant control, or needing to rush life.
He knows the plans He has for you. No person’s opinion, no mistake, no worldly standards, no fear, no worry, and not a single bit of impatience can change that truth or overpower his authority. Focusing on the wrong stuff will only keep you from being joyful and keep you from engaging in the plans God is trying to guide you into. Let go and let God. #Happiness #Faith #Patience #Inspirational #Passions #Purpose #Prayer #Connect #Grow #ConnectionsAndDriveBringPassionsToLife

“How can I make my life end without killing myself?”

Years ago, the sadness I felt (which was created by the thoughts I was consumed with) created such a strong depression that I truly believed life was pointless. “Whether I do good or bad, nothing will matter once I am dead.” “What’s the point of trying to change anything in life? We all suffer, we all die, it all ends.”
Depression is no joke. It brings people into such a dark place and it is such a difficult place to get out of. Lies seem as if they are truth and truths seem as if they are lies. You reach a place where you can’t really tell the difference between reality and what’s “just in your head.” Everything becomes pointless and there is absolutely no desire to live. And there comes a point where you truly ask yourself “Why should I stay alive?”
I began the journey of “recovering from depression” over 4 years ago without even knowing it. (That’s how God works sometimes) It’s been a long yet WORTH IT process. Tiny little steps made the biggest difference in my life. They seem simple and as if they have the least impact… and yet, these little steps have the largest impact on healing.
The first time I found a solution to a problem by thinking outside of the box was when I told myself, “I want this life to end!“

I had – had it, so I asked, “how can I make my life end without killing myself?”

God answered it.
First things first, I turned to God for EVERYTHING and I LISTENED TO HIM. I heard from religion, but I listened to God. I heard from people, but I listened to God. I heard MYSELF, but I listened to God. God holds the truth we need to find ourselves, our passions, and our purpose. (I can-not stress this truth enough!)
Next thing is, I had family and friends who stuck by my side regardless of how difficult of a person I was. THEY understood my depression, they understood why I was the way I was, and THEY were patient and loving with me. BE THAT PERSON. It is a huge impact! If someone doesn’t have this support, it’s okay… you can STILL make it. God is all powerful and you are more than loved. But my process of healing was impacted greatly by the family and friends who pushed through till I made it.
And last but not least… know you are in control. Wake up and choose to be happy. It won’t happen right away, but it will happen. Practice it.

I remember thinking “So, I need to choose to be happy. Meaning I need to be fake, ignore my problems, and just pretend that life is good when it’s not?” It made me angry to hear the words “Choose to be happy.”

The thing is, when you make the decision to choose to be happy, it creates a ripple effect in your life and therefore it will not be fake, and problems will not be ignored. You become this person that tackles problems, this person that sees the beauty in everything, this person that creates success where success doesn’t even seem possible, and overall, you create this person and life that you are proud of to the point where you begin to forget the sadness you once held on to so deeply. But don’t, don’t ever forget it. Because others in this world will need you… the way they need you TODAY to fight for your life, so that you can be in theirs to love them and guide them in the future.
Stay focused, find your passion, and contribute it to the world in a positive way.

Matthew 6:33
Philippians 4:13
John 16:33
Isaiah 41:10
Matthew 11:28
Jeremiah 29:11

#Depression #Healing #Passion #Happiness #Truth #Love #Strength #Kindness #Faith #God #Scripture #Focus #Prayer #Contribution


Every time I do something kind, people will either tilt their heads at me or ask “why?” Today I realized that I have been conditioned to always have an answer prepared as to why I have done something kind. But from now on I will answer myself and others by saying, “kindness does not need an explanation.”
Kindness, in my books, is a selfish act in a way. There is a kindness that people are when it benefits them in a way (such as a girl being kind to a boy if she thinks he will love her more.) There is a kindness that people are when it doesn’t create an interference (such as driving someone home after work because it is already on their way home.) And then there is a kindness that seems completely selfless such as being nice to someone when you know you will get nothing in return or driving someone home even though it will add an extra 20 minutes to your commute home. But still, there is a bit of selfishness in these acts of kindness because when it’s truly done from the heart, you find the purest form of joy.
I have a desire to help others decrease sadness and increase their joy. So here I want to take the time to say that being kind is the first step to finding your own happiness. And I mean being kind in a way that inconveniences you or won’t get you something in return. The next step is to find your passion. Because God has placed a passion in each one of us. This passion is the purpose in which he created us for. Think about it, so many people are passionate about singing and each person who pursues that passion ends up singing a song or songs that contribute to the world in a positive way. Whether it be in fame or at a church, their passions give them purpose after they use it for contribution.
Connect with yourself and connect with God. Stay focused on God’s truth and put the lies on extinction.

Matthew 6:33
Ephesians 2:10
1 Peter 4:10-11
Genesis 20:13
Ephesians 4:32
Proverbs 11:17
Proverbs 31:26

#Kindness #Joy #Happiness #Scripture #Love #Passionate #Wisdom #Inspirational #Life

Who you are… creates your life

“People do not need to behave a certain way for you to be happy… YOU need to behave a certain way for YOU to be happy.” These words of wisdom were trash to me a few years ago. “So, I should let people treat me however they want and smile anyway,” was my understanding of it all. “No, if they’re going to be jerks, I’m going to be an even bigger jerk.”
Only God knows just how exhausting that lifestyle was.
When I started working in ABA therapy, a kid came up to me, punched me and bit me, and my trainer said, “don’t react, just block it.” My immediate thought was “I’m just supposed to let this kid get away with doing this to me? How is he ever going to learn?”
Long story short, the first few months were filled with getting wacked, punched, kicked, bitten, spat on, and a whole bunch of other stuff. But, a year of consistent blocking, ignoring, and then redirecting how he should handle his emotions and communication with me… it was rare to see him get upset or furthermore attempt to hurt me. (Today’s work and patience creates a better future. Giving in to make the moment “easier” creates a tougher future)
One thing that I learned is that reacting to another person’s behavior is SO stressful and draining. Life is so much easier when you just don’t react. Why punish ourselves for the behavior of others?

Reacting usually seems like the right decision for the moment. It seems it will solve our problem for that very instant… but it won’t. It’s a waste of time and energy. And I am extremely literal about the “waste of time” part. If you knew you were going to die at the end of the week… would you truly be spending your time reacting to another person’s negative behavior toward you? I doubt it. Choose to live cheesy. “I might die at the end of the week, so, I don’t have time for this.”
I connected the dots to a Bible verse that says, “33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” Which is what God is advising for us to do because “The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?” (He advises us of the heart problems and gives us the solution by telling us to focus and what to focus on 😉 we serve a loving and wise God)
When someone is attempting to hurt us, are careless with how they treat us, or are creating anger in us… our emotions do get the best of us. And if we aren’t careful, we react on our emotions which then leads us to a form of regret. We have to be careful, cautious, and conscious about our emotions and who/what is being in charge. So, who/what is usually in charge of you? The truth of the person you are? Or the person that your emotions want you to be?
Focusing on Christ, His kingdom, and righteousness is a guide for everything. If you’ve been betrayed, lied to, hurt, abandoned, cheated, or anything else in that subject, it can create you to be someone you were not meant to be (As does media, music, magazines, and so on. Not that it’s bad, just have to be careful on what they make you believe you and your life should be like.) God did not create us to be cold or cautious in fear because of how others have treated us. He created us to be smart, creative, loving, and courageous. As we focus on Him, we remember WHO we are as HE handles everything else in life for us (jobs, relationships, finances.)

It all narrows down to “Who you are, creates your life.” For example: If you’re persistent and consistent, you will reach that goal. If you are lazy and careless, then you won’t be reaching any goals. You have all the freedom in the world to choose who to be. No-one can take that from you unless YOU allow it.
Don’t let anything take this truth from you. Be that person that God created you to be regardless of the behavior of others. People do not need to behave a certain way for you to be you or for you to be happy. It is your very own choice… you need to focus on how you behave for your own happiness.

Matthew 6:33
Jeremiah 17:9
Genesis 1:27

#Behavior #Inspirational #Scripture #Happiness #Focus #Joy #Faith #Love #Patience

Belief = Behavior

I’ve listened to a few songs from a music artist that goes by the name Lecrae. Many of his words have stood out to me in a way that either changed my character or helped polish it. “…and if I’m invisible to others, it’s only because their sight is limited, not my value,” These words have given me the courage to share my writings and to remind myself that my passions are valued by God. Everyone’s passions are given by God and valued by him. Whether others see value in it or not, it doesn’t take a single penny from the actual value you carry. So, let me ask, is there a power over you so much greater than God’s power within you? If you’re not sure of this answer, then sit back and observe the way you behave. Because how you behave reflects what you believe.
I ran into this question months ago and didn’t want to face answering it. It brought me out of my comfort zone. I knew once I knew the answer that I would have to do something about it. I remember watching an episode from “Touched by an Angel” when I was little and one of the lines that have stood out to me until this day has been “You can’t ruin God’s plan… you can only ruin being a part of it.” I realized a few days ago that I didn’t want to die living a settled life. I want to die knowing I accomplished everything God had planned for me. If God is for us, who can be against us? Right? I decided to change my beliefs because my behavior didn’t match what I was preaching. I hid my writings, I thought less of them, and I kept myself busy to avoid writing… “I love it, but it’s a waste of time.” That’s what I truly believed.
Now I believe that God created this passion in me to write, to share, and to love others through my writings. My behavior has changed. There is definitely a purpose and it is definitely not a waste of time… it is the most important part of my life. I write for me, I write for my daughter and nieces, I write for YOU, and I write for God.
I am human, a fearful human, and I plan on showing the world Gods power by allowing him to be my courage.

What are you passionate about?
What do you believe?

Romans 8:31
Jeremiah 29:11 (Tiffany’s favorite bible verse) (b.f.s.s.g.f.p)
Colossians 3:23
1 Corinthians 10:31

*Grammar advice/corrections welcome ☺

#Passionate #Inspiration #Scripture #Behavior #Beliefs #Writing #Value #Courage #Love