“How can I make my life end without killing myself?”

Years ago, the sadness I felt (which was created by the thoughts I was consumed with) created such a strong depression that I truly believed life was pointless. “Whether I do good or bad, nothing will matter once I am dead.” “What’s the point of trying to change anything in life? We all suffer, we all die, it all ends.”
Depression is no joke. It brings people into such a dark place and it is such a difficult place to get out of. Lies seem as if they are truth and truths seem as if they are lies. You reach a place where you can’t really tell the difference between reality and what’s “just in your head.” Everything becomes pointless and there is absolutely no desire to live. And there comes a point where you truly ask yourself “Why should I stay alive?”
I began the journey of “recovering from depression” over 4 years ago without even knowing it. (That’s how God works sometimes) It’s been a long yet WORTH IT process. Tiny little steps made the biggest difference in my life. They seem simple and as if they have the least impact… and yet, these little steps have the largest impact on healing.
The first time I found a solution to a problem by thinking outside of the box was when I told myself, “I want this life to end!“

I had – had it, so I asked, “how can I make my life end without killing myself?”

God answered it.
First things first, I turned to God for EVERYTHING and I LISTENED TO HIM. I heard from religion, but I listened to God. I heard from people, but I listened to God. I heard MYSELF, but I listened to God. God holds the truth we need to find ourselves, our passions, and our purpose. (I can-not stress this truth enough!)
Next thing is, I had family and friends who stuck by my side regardless of how difficult of a person I was. THEY understood my depression, they understood why I was the way I was, and THEY were patient and loving with me. BE THAT PERSON. It is a huge impact! If someone doesn’t have this support, it’s okay… you can STILL make it. God is all powerful and you are more than loved. But my process of healing was impacted greatly by the family and friends who pushed through till I made it.
And last but not least… know you are in control. Wake up and choose to be happy. It won’t happen right away, but it will happen. Practice it.

I remember thinking “So, I need to choose to be happy. Meaning I need to be fake, ignore my problems, and just pretend that life is good when it’s not?” It made me angry to hear the words “Choose to be happy.”

The thing is, when you make the decision to choose to be happy, it creates a ripple effect in your life and therefore it will not be fake, and problems will not be ignored. You become this person that tackles problems, this person that sees the beauty in everything, this person that creates success where success doesn’t even seem possible, and overall, you create this person and life that you are proud of to the point where you begin to forget the sadness you once held on to so deeply. But don’t, don’t ever forget it. Because others in this world will need you… the way they need you TODAY to fight for your life, so that you can be in theirs to love them and guide them in the future.
Stay focused, find your passion, and contribute it to the world in a positive way.

Matthew 6:33
Philippians 4:13
John 16:33
Isaiah 41:10
Matthew 11:28
Jeremiah 29:11

#Depression #Healing #Passion #Happiness #Truth #Love #Strength #Kindness #Faith #God #Scripture #Focus #Prayer #Contribution


Every time I do something kind, people will either tilt their heads at me or ask “why?” Today I realized that I have been conditioned to always have an answer prepared as to why I have done something kind. But from now on I will answer myself and others by saying, “kindness does not need an explanation.”
Kindness, in my books, is a selfish act in a way. There is a kindness that people are when it benefits them in a way (such as a girl being kind to a boy if she thinks he will love her more.) There is a kindness that people are when it doesn’t create an interference (such as driving someone home after work because it is already on their way home.) And then there is a kindness that seems completely selfless such as being nice to someone when you know you will get nothing in return or driving someone home even though it will add an extra 20 minutes to your commute home. But still, there is a bit of selfishness in these acts of kindness because when it’s truly done from the heart, you find the purest form of joy.
I have a desire to help others decrease sadness and increase their joy. So here I want to take the time to say that being kind is the first step to finding your own happiness. And I mean being kind in a way that inconveniences you or won’t get you something in return. The next step is to find your passion. Because God has placed a passion in each one of us. This passion is the purpose in which he created us for. Think about it, so many people are passionate about singing and each person who pursues that passion ends up singing a song or songs that contribute to the world in a positive way. Whether it be in fame or at a church, their passions give them purpose after they use it for contribution.
Connect with yourself and connect with God. Stay focused on God’s truth and put the lies on extinction.

Matthew 6:33
Ephesians 2:10
1 Peter 4:10-11
Genesis 20:13
Ephesians 4:32
Proverbs 11:17
Proverbs 31:26

#Kindness #Joy #Happiness #Scripture #Love #Passionate #Wisdom #Inspirational #Life

Who you are… creates your life

“People do not need to behave a certain way for you to be happy… YOU need to behave a certain way for YOU to be happy.” These words of wisdom were trash to me a few years ago. “So, I should let people treat me however they want and smile anyway,” was my understanding of it all. “No, if they’re going to be jerks, I’m going to be an even bigger jerk.”
Only God knows just how exhausting that lifestyle was.
When I started working in ABA therapy, a kid came up to me, punched me and bit me, and my trainer said, “don’t react, just block it.” My immediate thought was “I’m just supposed to let this kid get away with doing this to me? How is he ever going to learn?”
Long story short, the first few months were filled with getting wacked, punched, kicked, bitten, spat on, and a whole bunch of other stuff. But, a year of consistent blocking, ignoring, and then redirecting how he should handle his emotions and communication with me… it was rare to see him get upset or furthermore attempt to hurt me. (Today’s work and patience creates a better future. Giving in to make the moment “easier” creates a tougher future)
One thing that I learned is that reacting to another person’s behavior is SO stressful and draining. Life is so much easier when you just don’t react. Why punish ourselves for the behavior of others?

Reacting usually seems like the right decision for the moment. It seems it will solve our problem for that very instant… but it won’t. It’s a waste of time and energy. And I am extremely literal about the “waste of time” part. If you knew you were going to die at the end of the week… would you truly be spending your time reacting to another person’s negative behavior toward you? I doubt it. Choose to live cheesy. “I might die at the end of the week, so, I don’t have time for this.”
I connected the dots to a Bible verse that says, “33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” Which is what God is advising for us to do because “The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?” (He advises us of the heart problems and gives us the solution by telling us to focus and what to focus on 😉 we serve a loving and wise God)
When someone is attempting to hurt us, are careless with how they treat us, or are creating anger in us… our emotions do get the best of us. And if we aren’t careful, we react on our emotions which then leads us to a form of regret. We have to be careful, cautious, and conscious about our emotions and who/what is being in charge. So, who/what is usually in charge of you? The truth of the person you are? Or the person that your emotions want you to be?
Focusing on Christ, His kingdom, and righteousness is a guide for everything. If you’ve been betrayed, lied to, hurt, abandoned, cheated, or anything else in that subject, it can create you to be someone you were not meant to be (As does media, music, magazines, and so on. Not that it’s bad, just have to be careful on what they make you believe you and your life should be like.) God did not create us to be cold or cautious in fear because of how others have treated us. He created us to be smart, creative, loving, and courageous. As we focus on Him, we remember WHO we are as HE handles everything else in life for us (jobs, relationships, finances.)

It all narrows down to “Who you are, creates your life.” For example: If you’re persistent and consistent, you will reach that goal. If you are lazy and careless, then you won’t be reaching any goals. You have all the freedom in the world to choose who to be. No-one can take that from you unless YOU allow it.
Don’t let anything take this truth from you. Be that person that God created you to be regardless of the behavior of others. People do not need to behave a certain way for you to be you or for you to be happy. It is your very own choice… you need to focus on how you behave for your own happiness.

Matthew 6:33
Jeremiah 17:9
Genesis 1:27

#Behavior #Inspirational #Scripture #Happiness #Focus #Joy #Faith #Love #Patience

Belief = Behavior

I’ve listened to a few songs from a music artist that goes by the name Lecrae. Many of his words have stood out to me in a way that either changed my character or helped polish it. “…and if I’m invisible to others, it’s only because their sight is limited, not my value,” These words have given me the courage to share my writings and to remind myself that my passions are valued by God. Everyone’s passions are given by God and valued by him. Whether others see value in it or not, it doesn’t take a single penny from the actual value you carry. So, let me ask, is there a power over you so much greater than God’s power within you? If you’re not sure of this answer, then sit back and observe the way you behave. Because how you behave reflects what you believe.
I ran into this question months ago and didn’t want to face answering it. It brought me out of my comfort zone. I knew once I knew the answer that I would have to do something about it. I remember watching an episode from “Touched by an Angel” when I was little and one of the lines that have stood out to me until this day has been “You can’t ruin God’s plan… you can only ruin being a part of it.” I realized a few days ago that I didn’t want to die living a settled life. I want to die knowing I accomplished everything God had planned for me. If God is for us, who can be against us? Right? I decided to change my beliefs because my behavior didn’t match what I was preaching. I hid my writings, I thought less of them, and I kept myself busy to avoid writing… “I love it, but it’s a waste of time.” That’s what I truly believed.
Now I believe that God created this passion in me to write, to share, and to love others through my writings. My behavior has changed. There is definitely a purpose and it is definitely not a waste of time… it is the most important part of my life. I write for me, I write for my daughter and nieces, I write for YOU, and I write for God.
I am human, a fearful human, and I plan on showing the world Gods power by allowing him to be my courage.

What are you passionate about?
What do you believe?

Romans 8:31
Jeremiah 29:11 (Tiffany’s favorite bible verse) (b.f.s.s.g.f.p)
Colossians 3:23
1 Corinthians 10:31

*Grammar advice/corrections welcome ☺

#Passionate #Inspiration #Scripture #Behavior #Beliefs #Writing #Value #Courage #Love

How to love

We need to know how to love regardless of our own emotions, regardless of someone’s behavior’s, regardless of someone’s opinion, and regardless of their image. Love is a choice and we need to consciously know what choices to make when facing difficulties with others and ourselves. For me, it does not boil down to religion, it boils down to having a relationship with God. A relationship takes communication such as speaking AND listening. It also takes trust, courage, and seeking to understand. Getting to know God allows us to get to know unconditional love REGARDLESS of the circumstances we are in. And no, we will never be perfect, but we can know that God’s power lies within us and we are more than able to accomplish anything God wants us to accomplish.
God loves without expectations
God disciplines out of love, not anger.
His love is patient, kind, forgiving, understanding, selfless, honest, protects, trusting, hopeful, and it always perseveres.
It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud, it does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no records of wrongs, it does not delight in evil, but rejoices in truth.
We must CHOOSE to do what Love is.
Focus on you being this person, not wanting someone else to be this person for you.
And, we don’t all have to be with the same religion and hold the same belief’s to know that love is the best choice to make.

1st Corinthian chapter 13
1 John 4:7-11
Romans 8: 10-20
Proverbs 18:21
Matthew 6:33

#Writing #Wisdom #Love #Relationships #Scripture #ZeroToHero