Should I marry him/her? Should I stay with him/her?
They (numerous couples) remind me of an addiction more than a romance. The need each other. They need each other’s presence, they need each other’s affection, they need each other’s attention, they need each other to feel satisfied. They can-not simply be, because they are always in need. Just like any other addiction whether it be to drugs, drinking, television, eating, etc… it’s just not the way life should be lived. Little by little – it destroys you.
Two people should not be together because of an addiction. And it’s difficult to call it an addiction when you are blinded from what real love should be like. Love should be free. Free to be alone, free to be obsessive, free to be happy, free to be angry, free to be with friends, free to be together, free to give, free to receive, and it should be something that is wanted… not needed.
I always say – and strongly believe, that love is also a choice. But choosing to love an addiction will destroy your heart, mind, soul, body, and circumstances. That is when your eyes should be open to realizing that what you have is not love. Love is when your heart, mind, soul, body, and circumstances are healthy and free because of the love you feed each other, and then during the difficult times is when you choose to love — such as being patient when one is being stubborn, being kind when another is being mean, being the strong one when the other is in a weak state of mind, being brave when the other is fearful, and so on.
When you’re truly in love… you should be a team. What are you doing looking out for yourself and hurting each other? Why are you feeding your own needs and disregarding the pain you’ll cause the person that loves you? If you’re in a relationship where you have to look out for yourself… then maybe you’ve got the wrong teammate. And that’s OKAY… Because the right teammate is out there for you. One that will have your back while you have theirs. And therefore, you shouldn’t be wasting time in a relationship that is destroying your heart, mind, body, soul, and circumstances… you should be focused on building yourself up and preparing for the arrival of your actual teammate in life.
And this is why I’m crazy about my guy. I don’t need him – I just want him. I want him because he gives me life, he makes me feel free, he makes me feel everything I’ve been wanting to feel. I’ve been so comfortable being single but also fearful that a man would come into my life and take away who I am and how I live. My only choice was to be single forever so that I wouldn’t lose myself. But with him – with him I can still be free, I can still be myself, and I can still be happy. He adds so much goodness to my life.
Instead of needing him, I want him.
Instead of draining me, he gives me life.
Instead of losing myself, I’m bettering myself.
Instead of being fearful, I feel safe.
Instead of feeling alone, I know I have a teammate.
And instead of being afraid to share this because I might look like a fool down the road… I feel excited about my future with him.
Pray about it, connect with God, and allow Him to help you grow. No-one wants more for you than your creator. No Love is more unconditional than God’s. He WILL guide you in the right direction. Choose freedom.
#Pray #Connect #Grow #TheOpenLetter #Love #Faith #Trust #Soul #Passion #Happiness #Life #Relationships