“How can I make my life end without killing myself?”

Years ago, the sadness I felt (which was created by the thoughts I was consumed with) created such a strong depression that I truly believed life was pointless. “Whether I do good or bad, nothing will matter once I am dead.” “What’s the point of trying to change anything in life? We all suffer, we all die, it all ends.”
Depression is no joke. It brings people into such a dark place and it is such a difficult place to get out of. Lies seem as if they are truth and truths seem as if they are lies. You reach a place where you can’t really tell the difference between reality and what’s “just in your head.” Everything becomes pointless and there is absolutely no desire to live. And there comes a point where you truly ask yourself “Why should I stay alive?”
I began the journey of “recovering from depression” over 4 years ago without even knowing it. (That’s how God works sometimes) It’s been a long yet WORTH IT process. Tiny little steps made the biggest difference in my life. They seem simple and as if they have the least impact… and yet, these little steps have the largest impact on healing.
The first time I found a solution to a problem by thinking outside of the box was when I told myself, “I want this life to end!“

I had – had it, so I asked, “how can I make my life end without killing myself?”

God answered it.
First things first, I turned to God for EVERYTHING and I LISTENED TO HIM. I heard from religion, but I listened to God. I heard from people, but I listened to God. I heard MYSELF, but I listened to God. God holds the truth we need to find ourselves, our passions, and our purpose. (I can-not stress this truth enough!)
Next thing is, I had family and friends who stuck by my side regardless of how difficult of a person I was. THEY understood my depression, they understood why I was the way I was, and THEY were patient and loving with me. BE THAT PERSON. It is a huge impact! If someone doesn’t have this support, it’s okay… you can STILL make it. God is all powerful and you are more than loved. But my process of healing was impacted greatly by the family and friends who pushed through till I made it.
And last but not least… know you are in control. Wake up and choose to be happy. It won’t happen right away, but it will happen. Practice it.

I remember thinking “So, I need to choose to be happy. Meaning I need to be fake, ignore my problems, and just pretend that life is good when it’s not?” It made me angry to hear the words “Choose to be happy.”

The thing is, when you make the decision to choose to be happy, it creates a ripple effect in your life and therefore it will not be fake, and problems will not be ignored. You become this person that tackles problems, this person that sees the beauty in everything, this person that creates success where success doesn’t even seem possible, and overall, you create this person and life that you are proud of to the point where you begin to forget the sadness you once held on to so deeply. But don’t, don’t ever forget it. Because others in this world will need you… the way they need you TODAY to fight for your life, so that you can be in theirs to love them and guide them in the future.
Stay focused, find your passion, and contribute it to the world in a positive way.

Matthew 6:33
Philippians 4:13
John 16:33
Isaiah 41:10
Matthew 11:28
Jeremiah 29:11

#Depression #Healing #Passion #Happiness #Truth #Love #Strength #Kindness #Faith #God #Scripture #Focus #Prayer #Contribution

Author:

My name is Marysol and I am a single mother of a beautiful girl. I also have 3 nieces and I work with children who have autism. Children have been a part of my life since I was a child myself. Haven’t had a break from them. I absolutely love to write. It is both a passion and a pain. I love to think deeply even if it means I am staring at a white wall for an entire hour before I begin to write. My relationship with God is what makes my writings creative and powerful. I connect with God at a very deep level and tend to write what I believe He is teaching me through this connection. I’ve written one book which I have yet to send in for publishing (working on it). My grammar isn’t perfect, nor my life, or myself overall. But I am smart, I am creative, and above all, I fight to love the way Christ loves.

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